Saturday, May 05, 2007

Dinner and a Movie

Michael and I spent our anniversary working together. He didn't have to accompany me to work, but I am grateful to him for it. The man is swift.

We fed the children, mine and a visiting nephew from Georgia, pizza and salad for dinner. Then, we went to an Italian restaurant in Slidell that we always talked about going to. Both of us decidedly wanted to try something different, and Italian. Assunta's was IT. I don't know why they aren't more crowded, possibly location. It was the best food. Mmmmmm.

Then we stopped at Friendly Video and rented "American Dreamz". It might have been a good movie; I don't know. The two glasses of wine with dinner sedated me. Of course, Michael hardly ever makes it through a whole movie. He was gone before me.

I feel a little remiss that I didn't get more sentimental and maudlin in my previous blog entry about how sweet Michael is, and how after 17 years we have figured out ways to get the most enjoyment from this marriage. We are a good team in all that we do.

We fight like the Bickersons sometimes, but don't let the resentment and ugliness linger anymore. The secret to our success, I think, is to ignore one another's more aggravating points. We had trouble doing that for about 12 years, but once we became re-committed to honoring our commitment to one another, that insight came to me.

We have spent several anniversaries at the Jazz Fest. One of our more troubled years, a friend took us with her for free. We rode a shuttle in with her. Soon after our arrival, the friend and I went to one stage to see something, and Michael stayed put at the one he was happiest at. We never saw each other for the rest of the day, though I constantly looked for him. I was alternately on pins and needles, anticipating his anger with me, and then looking around and enjoying the moment in complete surrender. Sure enough, after it was over, I synchronously reconnected with him. He was seething.

There was another Jazz Fest where Michael gifted me with a diamond anniversary band in the middle of a crowded intersection, near the food stands. It was such an unexpected gesture. I forewarned him that I was going to cry and he just nodded like it was okay and then we hugged as I shed the tears. We were in our own private universe as hundreds of people had to just go around us.

The reason I don't go on more about him is that I have witnessed celebrities effusively talk about their matings and then break up. Love is conditional in a marriage. Sure I love him from the bottom of my heart now, but if he acts like an idiot, and there are many ways to act like an idiot, I will slap him and go.

After all this time, though, I don't think there is anything idiotic enough for either of us to part over. I suppose we will grow old together. Bicker, love, bicker, love, laugh, love, bicker, love. Love outweighs all negativity and laughing together brings out the Lovers in us.


Kim Ayres said...

17 years is a long time these days and very worthy of


Love the photo too :)

Jupiter's Girl said...

Thanks, Kim, for the congrats.

I asked an elderly couple who'd been married forever if they ever fight, or had they worked out all disagreements and are always on the same page. They were good-natured about telling me of their seemingly impossible situation. Those two were a perfect pair with the exception of her always being cold. It was one of those 85 degree days outside and she had on a jacket and a hat. I guess all of us must find a middle ground about something(s). He had a bedroom equipped with a window unit and went there often.

You are one to talk of pictures too. Yours is absolutely priceless.