The Myrtles

For our 19th wedding anniversary, Michael and I wanted to do something different. We had an adventure involving a scenic drive, a haunted house, and a lovely trip down memory's ancient lanes.

St. Francisville is the 2nd oldest town in Louisiana and is preserved as much as possible, and replicated where it wasn't possible to preserve. Hurricane Gustav did a number on the town and on the 8 antebellum homes that are scattered in the area and open for tours.

We toured what is proclaimed to be the most haunted house in America. I dreamt about the mirror that we saw, with a purported woman's facial imprint in it, the night before I stepped into the Myrtles house. A picture of the mirror is the only picture one can take inside the house. I did not want a picture of it. The idea alone spooked me.

While listening to the legends of the murders that took place inside the house and on the grounds, Michael and I both experienced fuzzy, warm sensations. Michael is not at all what one might say woo-woo, so for him to notice the change in our fields of energy was very affirming to me.

I think the grounds there attract people who carry the ghost-magnet in their fields, so that they notice disembodied entities readily. My friend was telling me how a ghost pushed her and her husband on the swing. I purposely avoided any contact with entities except to say a prayer that they find the welcoming light of where souls go to rest.

I was hoping my mate and I could talk about what might happen in the next 19 years over a leisurely lunch, but we stuffed ourselves at breakfast so that we weren't hungry for pretty much the rest of the day. And Michael doesn't know the meaning of the word "leisure". We hurried to get there, hurried to have our (brief) tour of the house, hurried through our free tour of the grounds, hurried through the gift shop, and then hurried to get home, though there was absolutely no hurry now that our kids can fend for themselves. The man is a Gemini - fast is their m.o. We missed many points of interest in and around the township because we bought chocolates at the Myrtles.

After 19 years of marriage, we are settled in some ways, but in some ways not. Changes come naturally, but some I would like to force, like having more leisurely respites away from our mundane existence.

As for leisure time, I carve out my own. I am almost finished reading a book I started this morning. I read through 3 Jonathan Lethem novels in a weeks' time and returned the books to my boss. I got this one by him from the library, "As She Climbed Across the Table". Here is an author whose novels I will look for. My favorite had to be "Motherless Brooklyn", though I have enjoyed them all.

I have vowed to go back to St. Francisville and spend at least one night there at an un-haunted bed and breakfast, and tour the town at my leisure. It would be nice to step back in time and arrest it with my lover. I can always daydream about leisure time away from home even if I don't get it.

Book Review

I read a lot.

Thumbs down to a book I just took back to the library after patiently waiting months for it. It's on the Bestseller's list - "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo." It was a bad book, with gratuitous sexual violence, and a drawn out story which I couldn't finish.

The author of "...Tattoo", Stieg Larsson, dropped off this manuscript along with two others in 2004 and then dropped dead before they were published. I have to wonder about such a mind that was preoccupied with such dark, sadistic material. No, on second thought I won't.

On a more up-note, I read Neil Gaiman's Newberry award winning book, "Graveyard", and loved it. I love everything this author writes.

And while I am at random recommendations: two movies I recently watched and laughed at and loved were "Soul Men" and "Yes Man". They aren't movies for young people due to sexual content, but they are funny. Funny always does the trick at bringing me into the Now. Now is always better than then.

My new car

Deja vu. I used that title already - when I got my new Kia Spectra back in July 2006. That car was a collision magnet.

The last accident happened just last Wednesday when I got rear-ended on the interstate on my way home from work. The first dent was just 5 months after I had the Spectra. I came out from my job at a supermarket and there it was. Then, there were several smashes and crashes in between the first and the last when it was finally put to rest by my insurance agency - "totalled".

I learned new words like "gap insurance" and what it is to be "upside down". My insurance would only pay me what my car was worth on the market, taking into consideration the mileage and former dents.

Suzuki financing took care of $3400 owed on the Kia and the rest of the money matters and now I have a new car. It is a Forenza. I like the way it rides. I like the smell, and I love how it will eventually have cruise control. I told the salesman that cruise control was more important to me than doors.

I don't like that I didn't go over every inch of it and there's a cigarette burn in the back seat. I am sure they are laughing all the way to the bank on that sale. Plus, it's an '08, which I am sure the dealership is relieved to get off their lot.

I can't let any of that dampen my happy mood at my good fortune of getting a new car. I tried to get one months ago - after my speeding ticket - when I searched for a car with cruise control on it. (People with A.D.D. need cruise control.) At that time, the sales man I was haggling with wished he could help me out of my upside down-ness, but his hands were tied. I didn't really like that HHR anyway.

So, I am still a little bummed out at having to eat $3400 because of my no-fault accident. I fussed at everyone in claims that I could have about the unfairness of not having a car anymore, yet still owing on it. I spoke with two lawyers who would have liked me to discuss my hurt back and knee, but I wouldn't play that card.

But happy days - I love new car smell, and no dents in the front, and cruise control. And there should be no more speeding tickets for me. That 24 mile bridge is too difficult to maintain a proper speed on.

I love cut flowers

My Libra Moon is what I attribute to my loving to entertain at home. I got up early last Tuesday and made pralines for my visiting cousin and her family from Minnesota. I then went to the grocery and seafood market for items to go into the dinner. I made a big pot of seafood pasta, made a salad and a spinach dip, had garlic bread, and baked a chocolate cake. My sister, Angela, brought jambalaya. My Mom contributed $$, and my sister, Katie brought boiled shrimp and crawfish, and also a stuffed artichoke. As always, there was so much leftover - we lived off the pasta for days.

I forgot to take out the red beans I had thawing. I had no room on the stove to make rice for it. I knew before-hand that Carol didn't eat seafood. I meant for her to have choices. She is low-maintenance and wants no fussing about her picky diet.

My brother, David, and sister, Christina - and some of their people - came to the gathering to connect with cousin Carol, her husband and teenage daughter. I got to visit with them briefly before my siblings and Mother arrived. They were so open to their Louisiana adventure. Nicole and Dan were trying everything put before them. They were off to Lafayette, a different world within Louisiana's borders, for a few days after they left my house that night.

Two days ago, I got the loveliest bouquet delivered to my home for my efforts. They are so beautiful. I am humbled by Carol's generosity. They were such gracious guests. It was truly my pleasure to have them. I guess the least I could do is get recipes to Carol that she left a note for by my pc. Coming right up, Carol...

Happy Mardi Gras, Dawlin'.

The weather was gorgeous, and so am I.

This is Gabi, a Snug Harbor manager.

Cruella and one of her pups.

??? Just having some fun.

I worked Mardi Gras day. Frenchman St. was crowded, but it's a different crowd than what is a few blocks down in the French Quarter.

Next year, I may get out of Dodge for the holidays. That would be a first.

There goes my baby

Aaron got his driver's license last week. Today is the first time he is taking my car out on the road - alone. He's driving to his girlfriend's house - saving us the hour and ten minute drive round trip, twice, for his weekly visit.

I am so relieved to not have to cart him out to the country, and harbor dreams of sending him for groceries, or to pick up and drop his sister places she needs to go, and other excursions that I can't avoid but try to.

I would cry about this milestone since it is more steps into independence from his Ma-ma, but it is all in order. Happy trails, my son.

Head shots

I paid my friend a shrimp po boy to take my picture. I've used not having a decent headshot as an excuse for what's been holding me back from pursuing an acting career. Now what? I am so unmotivated at this moment in time to do anything with it, but I am sure I will. The last time I had an agent, I didn't send in the exclusivity agreement because I didn't like any picture they had on file for me.

Note to prospective casting directors: Hire me. Don't you need a nosy neighbor, a silly teacher/principle figure, an obtrusive mom, bank teller who takes the gun away from a bungling crook, etc? I promise not to stir it up on the set. I am disciplined and focussed, learn lines fast, and ready when you are.

Awareness lightens the load

I listened to a wise, loving friend explain a magnetic pole reversal and how it will affect mankind. I took the belief and ran with it that we are all going to be wiped out on Dec 12 2012 at 11:11 am. I spread that news around like butter for about a week. I was beginning to feel despondent and that nothing I do - or don't do - will matter, so I surrendered to the vision of certain death.

Oh it wasn't going to come without earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear explosions, hurricanes and anything else way detrimental. But not to worry, as electro-magnetic beings, we are not going to witness the worst of earth cataclysms because our Being-ness will be stripped when magnetic poles reverse.

So, I did what I do to make myself feel better - I networked. First, I googled 2012 and magnetic pole reversals and came upon site after site that all had something to sell about the event. Then, I spoke with many others to see if there is a consensus - and "no" there isn't one.

Some people tell me of entering into another dimension (the 4th) where people of goodwill use telepathy and have cooperative spirits which will bring about a new era of life.

There are all kinds of theories about what will be, but until what will be IS, I cannot worry anymore about it. There are many mundane chores that need tending to, and my job still has to be worked at, and all other manner of things that tell me Life hasn't stopped yet, so keep going.

I think many want the world to end. Negative people bum me out. They spread their bad news so authoritatively.

It's like I always say - the Mind can find whatever it wants to. If you want the world to end, there's much proof that says it is going to. If you want the world to continue - only in a better way - there's much proof to say that is happening also. What you put out in thoughts, actions, words... it comes back to you. Think light and love.

Reference: Magnetic Pole Reversal

Peace and happy 2009.

Must have been a cold day in Hell

It snowed yesterday here in Mandeville. People can count on one hand since 1960 how many times that has happened. It was snowing like what we imagine it does up north. It just kept coming down until noon. That's about when the electricity came back on. The news reported that it was a record by snowing so early in the winter season. It was a phenomena to us here in South Louisiana.

My kids don't even have winter coats. I ordered one yesterday for Julia. I felt like a bad Mom for sending her to school in that light jacket. Michael picked her up for a snow/play day at 10am. He was in a long line of parents who braved driving in that. Aaron didn't call us, he claimed to have texted Michael. He said there were maximum of 7 students (out of potential 35) in his classes all day.

I would not drive in that, though I sat on the sofa and worried about Michael and Julia in the car. I called to see that they were driving okay through it, and then I asked him to pick up a few things at the store while they were out. :)

This morning, Michael's driver door was frozen and he had to climb in on the passenger side.

After Hurricane Katrina - we wanted to relocate to a safer place, still near relatives or friends. The only places with those conditions were up north, Michigan and Minnesota - which we wouldn't consider because of the frigid, snowy weather.

Once in a while, snow would be allright. There's still snow on the ground out there, but my deck is an ice skating rink. Looking forward to sunnier times. It's supposed to be in the 50's today, and warming even further for the weekend. Yay.

It's on.

Took in the Aquarium and toured the French Quarter the day before Thanksgiving with Julia and Shelby, Aaron and Ischelle. Wore them out. I had to finally just leave them at Jackson Square while I walked about a mile to get my car and pick them up. How is it that a 48 year old woman can walk circles around teenagers? They need to get out more.

25 more days till Christmas. This time of year always makes me wish to fast forward until after it's over. I watched "Click" on Thanksgiving night. It was very good. I like Adam Sandler movies. He makes me laugh. And cry. That was a good story about not hurrying through the bad parts of life to get to the good. I will try to remember that as I search for the perfect gifts for people and the money to purchase them with.

I like the lights. No, take that back. I LOVE the lights.

Grace King High, class of '78

These are some of the girls I hung out with in the mid to late 70's. What a hoot that was. We all continued to party down at the karaoke bar on Bourbon. Unlike the olden days, though, I knew my limit and went home early. It wasn't that I wanted to - a friend was drunk and needed to be driven home. I couldn't make my way back to the scene, otherwise, I might have exceeded the limit too. I no longer like feeling like crap.

This was the girl who copied my poetry interpretation that I did in our Drama class in 12th grade, and used it in some regional speech competition and won. She's now a newscaster. I forever think that I just didn't know my talent back then, and that was proof that I had it. She won a contest by being like ME.

There were 125 attendees at our reunion. Our graduating class was 950 girls. We've decided to meet up every 5 years now - you know? - deaths are occurring more frequently now so we have to stay connected. There were 200 of us at our 20 year reunion. Hurricane Katrina put a dent in our numbers.

It was a so much fun to be with so many women my age and to hear their stories of what's been happening - or what has happened since last we met. We are a much more accepting and loving crowd of women now, of course, compared to how we were as teenage girls. That school is co-ed now. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to be educated at a school where it's all girls; such a concentration of budding feminine energy offered it's greatest lessons on top of the academics.

I took drivers ed, gymnastics, theater and speech, as well as the blah blah blah. I can't say I was a good student except for those subjects, or teachers, who could hold my interest. In my memory, tempered by the years, there were way more good classes and teachers than not.

Bye, Sammy

Julia's Beta Fish named Sammy died during the night. We knew he was on his way out. I went to change out some of his water this morning, and discovered his little red body, upside down, in his bowl.

My dog, Chip, ate him when I was pouring off the water from the bowl into the grass in my backyard. Otherwise, I'd have added him to my list of pets buried in and around my property. Julia will not be happy about this.

Already gone to their graves in and around my yard are...
Cats: Thomas, Lulu, Meowth, Sally, Jesse
A Turtle: James
Two Dogs: Bailey, Daisy
Hermit Crabs: 4 or 5 of them, each named something.
A Hamster: Oreo
A Hedgehog: Alex (after a somber burial and memorial service under our oak tree, we came home the next day to find Chip with dead Alex in his mouth, running around the yard, tossing the body around, playing. He is an idiot, but we love him. One day he'll be on this list.)

I may have missed one or two.

RIP, Sammy. I think it still counts as a burial. Chip will eventually give your body back to the earth around here.

Halloween 'o8

That wig only lasted a couple of hours. Snug Harbor was busy. Jeff and I made Monsoons out the wazoo. Monsoons are a huge rum punch. The exact ingredients are a secret. That they pack a punch is not. The Bingo Experience was a hoot of a show, what I caught of it anyway. I heard laughing and outrageous comments from afar as I made cocktails and Monsoons out the wazoo. And, their music was unique and fun to work to.

I bartended when I was a college student back in the late 70's to mid-80's. I never thought I'd be doing that again, this many years later. People from all over the world visit Snug Harbor, a great place to hear good music. I've met some unforgettable people. Musicians too. They come from all over. Last Saturday, we had a jazz ensemble from the Netherlands. They played very well, interesting and different, yet familiar songs.

A lot of tourists want to hear a story. I hear some of the same questions repeatedly: How long have you worked here? (almost a year now) Are you from here? (Yes, New Orleans is my birth town; grew up in Kenner.) What happened here during hurricane Katrina? I am a story-teller, but even I sometimes get tired of the same story and it comes out sounding hackneyed and trite. I try to think of something new to tell them that keeps them interested and happy to be on vacation - away from their own stories and making new ones that will be spread back where they come from. For a fee, you can take a tour of the devastated areas. We roll our eyes at those tours. One regular of mine said he was late getting to work - teaching at UNO - because he was stuck behind a busload of people taking pictures.

One lady told me she took the tour that day, but what she wanted to know is how we all felt during and after it. I could tell she wanted an emotionally-charged story. I just wasn't there, though. My favorite acting is comedic. I tend to look for how we can stay bouyant emotionally and would rather tell you a joke if only I could think of one. I post a joke a day over at jokemail.blogspot.com, but my memory is such that I can hardly remember any. Real life is more humorous anyway, when I have presence of mind.

I get watched like a tv sometimes by customers visiting New Orleans for the first time. Ordinary things can look so magical and exotic when you are seeing things for the first time. They want to know everything I am making, and sometimes quiz me if I know how to make something they are looking for. I hardly ever make drinks that used to be around in the olden days; banana banshees, grasshoppers, golden cadillacs, pink ladies or squirrels, and other animal named drinks.

I sell more Sazaracs each time I get an order for one because I appear to be doing alchemy as I pour a bit of this and a bit of that, some of this, line the glass with an aromatic liqueur, squeeze and twist the orange - Voila!! - "your Sazarac, Madame." I hear from witnesses, "Ooohhh, I want one, or make mine 4 Sazaracs instead of wine and beers." It's fine by me to hear those things. That'll be $7 each. Usually, I get a good tip from the process. Some bartenders don't like to make them.

The drink I hate to make most is mojitos. Mint just doesn't keep, and that drink doesn't even taste good to me. Maybe a shot of peppermint schnapp's and rum would be the same or better. I muddle and grumble to myself when I make them.

I also get asked for Vodka and Red Bull a lot on weekends, when the young locals come out to play on Frenchman St. We don't carry energy drinks. I tell them I heard it's bad for them to drink that combo anyway. How about a healthy dose of Vodka with something else then? I hear irony in my question.

Julia said she's embarrassed by my profession. I tell her it's a righteous living and I like my job. I don't like that it's an hour commute. I just want to take a nice little doh-doh about halfway across the bridge. It's so dark and lulling. Thankfully, there are police in every one of the turn-arounds to keep me upright and alert. I've gotten too many tickets to count.

The last ticket I got was for careless operation when I smashed into the side of the bridge after riding over a metal grate drawbridge. A wind gusted and blew my Kia around like paper, and the police apologetically ticketed me. I went to court and they threw it out. I had papers telling of the weather conditions that day. I am glad to not have that hanging over my head anymore. It was an injustice to ticket me for that anyway.

Differences

The Crescent City Connection, Mississippi River, and Michael.

We took a spin in the city last Friday. We were 20 minutes late for the IMAX movie about dolphins and whales. It was very sweetly informative, narrated by Darryl Hannah, about how every living thing in the ocean is being killed off - one species at a time. A downer of a film. I am so sorry for the creatures of the deep who are compromised by my needs - for being part of the collective that is obliterating them.

Then we walked along the river down to the flea market. I bought two $5 necklaces from a guy on the riverwalk who had jewelry spread out on a blanket.

Then we had a fast walk through the flea market - no money or needs for anything in particular.

I told Michael "no" to a muffeletta. That's what we always get. I wanted something different. We stopped at Pat O'Briens and had a couple of drinks. We've done that before. It was cool talking to the bartender; commiserating about the business of enabling tourists to have a good time - while getting blottoed. We were there about 30 minutes, then off and walking swiftly through the French Quarter back to the car in a parking garage of Canal Place, which has a food court. Michael said he wasn't hungry. I got the best Kung Pao shrimp there and didn't have to twist his arm much to eat half of it.

That was the end of the date I was promised. Waaa. Waaa.

I threatened to go out with my friend in the city that night, or the following Sunday during the day - a blues festival in the city beckoned me. For all that sulking, I sat still in my chair outside. I built a fire and stared into the woods and recalled Rumi's words about being careful of what my mind desires. I got up after a good feeling sorry for myself time, as I tried to decide what would make me happy, and I baked a peach pie, smothered pork chops for the family, and got on with the laundry.

The Best Son Award goes to....

Aaron Michael

Either I got him smiling and not looking at me, or looking at me and not smiling. This will have to do.

16 years ago, I became a mother. He and I cried a lot during the first few weeks of his life as we adjusted to our relationship. He was born by an unexpected c-section and weighed in at 9 lbs, 8 oz. His birth multiplied the love factor of my existence into infinity.

He has a girlfriend. He met her three summers ago and they were just friends for a year before taking it to another level. I tell him it's not natural to find your "one love" at so young. He is not even interested in other girls. Oh well, she's cool; an artist, Aquarian, and loves him - like his Mom. And he still has other friends; the guys, and his theater friends.

He will not be able to get his license for another few months; he has to have a permit for 6 months first. At school yesterday, he got asked a bunch of times if he got his license and/or a car for his birthday. (We live in Mandeville which has more than a few gated communities within the city limits. No, Aaron did not get a car.)

I was in the kitchen a lot yesterday. I stuffed artichokes and steamed them. I baked a red velvet cake from scratch, and I peeled and deveined three pounds of shrimp for po-boys. In the course of the day, I dirtied almost every pot, bowl, and utensil I have. All the while, I was nostalgic about our 16 year journey.

He is the best boy a mother could ask for - he makes me laugh when I am too serious, does well in school, is well-adjusted and low maintenance, making few demands on me.

Theater of the absurd

I am a-political and ignorant. My husband was "I told you so-ing" galore the night of the last debate between Obama and McCain. He and I are on different wave-lengths, politically, but similar in thinking that the other is deluded.

Too many Neptunian aspects in this whole election - squares or oppositions, natally and by transit, to the charts of the players' I've analyzed. Maya all around.

I have a very good, mystical-minded friend - whom I kind of agree with - that behind both candidates there is One power. So, it almost doesn't matter who becomes president. It only matters to that force for us to experience separation, more war, polarities of all kinds. IT feeds off our fear. Cooperative spirit, unity and harmonization would starve IT.

This election keeps reminding me of the time when I had a choice to vote for either a demagogue (David Duke) or a man who was later convicted of felonies and imprisoned (Edwin Edwards) for Governor of Louisiana.

That was a bit of a political nightmare, the choice between a white supremacist and a man everybody knew was corrupt, but being Jupiterian, I laughed about it. It was absurd.

Meanwhile, the mystery that life is continues in the beauty and tranquility that is Lacombe's Wildlife Refuge. We rise above our differences and take it in.

Reflection

WHO MAKES THESE CHANGES?

Who makes these changes?
I shoot an arrow right.
It lands left.
I ride after a deer and find myself
chased by a hog.
I plot to get what I want
and end up in prison.
I dig pits to trap others
and fall in.

I should be suspicious
of what I want.

Rumi - 1207-1273

You may say I'm a dreamer...

...but I'm not the only One.

I attended "The Blast" last weekend - an Astrology conference in Sedona, AZ.

I made friends, met up with my friend, Diane, and shared a room and car rental with her, and met face-to-face with two people I interviewed on air during my 6 month stint on internet radio; Anne Beversdorf and Steven Forrest.

I saw Anne's name when I was signing into Rob Hand's workshop on dealing with difficult aspects, and looked around for the person I thought she might be. She is a great astrologer. It's been at least a year since I've spoken to her. She has finally published that book of remedies that she was working on. I bought the e-copy and then lost it in a pc crash. She's promised me another copy.

I took Steven's workshop on Evolutionary Astrology. I can only understate how much I enjoyed that. I have a few of his books, and now Jodie's too - "The Ascendant". Evolutionary astrology is a humanistic approach to chart interpretation - using the nodes to help relieve the burdenistic qualities inherent in each chart.

It was very fulfilling to be amongst my kind - walking the walk and talking the talk. I am too often alone in my head - bartending, taking care of hearth and home, and plugging away at my craft. It's been a little lonely lately since Hurricane Katrina came crashing down on Synchronicity and sent me scrambling for ways to make a living. I don't network like I used to when I had a retail store devoted to raising consciousness.

I have this skill of analyzing a chart and verbalizing the strengths and beauty an individual possesses. It is very, very validating to do that in the company of others who do that also. We shared information, and played, and paid close attention to the wiser ones.

It was a lovely and fullfilling time. Sedona is a beautiful place. The artwork that was everywhere made it all the more utopian.

Nature offered up it's greatest works of art in those red hills. My pictures could not capture their majesty. Still..., here.

She is

My beloved daughter...

Last year, it was a parakeet.

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes, beloved outdoors...

Nietzsche

I take back what I said about Nietzsche, hackneyed and uninspiring.

I still don't like all that he wrote. What a harsh and unhappy "free spirit" he seemed to be. Ach!!

Where I wonder if there is an Absolute truth; he seems to know it, and others' have made his wrtiings into bible studies.

He is vastly misogynistic. In this passage: "Will free spirits live with women? In general, I believe that, as the true-thinking, truth-speaking men of the present, they must, like the prophetic birds of ancient times, prefer to fly alone."

There are some pieces that I could relate to, but if he has such a large error in his logic in one place, then it stands to reason that I am better off not reading the rest.